


I Will Follow You Into the Dark

by mintaeroandmerlin



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Art AU, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pining, arthur needs hugs, merlin provides hugs, mild homophobia, not much actual art in this, sorry abt that, uther sucks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-28 18:37:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15712809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mintaeroandmerlin/pseuds/mintaeroandmerlin
Summary: Arthur had always wanted to please Uther as a child. After high school, Arthur decided to become an artist, to his father’s disapproval. Enter Merlin. He’d helped Arthur adjust to high school and university, hiding his feelings for Arthur. Two years into Uni, Merlin finally confronts Arthur about his feelings. Fluff ensues.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> TW for homophobic slurs
> 
> beta’d by the fantastic simon—speaks on tumblr

The painting sucked. Arthur couldn't lie to himself about his art skills. His mother, before she died, used to tell him how lovely his drawings were as a child. Arthur had loved her praise. After she died of cancer when he was ten, he no longer really loved his art. Arthur painted his mum a lot, but he would never show anyone her portraits. They were personal, the way a musician might compose a piece just for himself.  
Now, Arthur was painting an outdoor piece. A snowy farmhouse. It was for his scenery art class at uni. Scenery paintings always made Arthur nervous, because he knew that his specialty was portraits. He looked at the brush strokes, and he only saw flaws. The house's outline was too bold, the snow looked sloppy and streaking. He called his friend Gwen over from her station in the room to come take a look.  
"Gwen, it's terrible. How do I fix this?" He asked desperately.  
"Arthur, you're the only one who ever sees these things. It looks wonderful to me, but maybe make the strokes softer and more blended." She looked thoughtful. "Try layering the colors instead of mixing them all on the palette?" She said helpfully.  
"Thanks Gwen, I'll try that." He smiled and went back to inspecting his painting. He looked at his reference picture and then tried layering the colors of the house like Gwen had suggested. He took a lighter green and then went over it with a darker green around the edges. It looked better already, but the snow still didn't look exactly right. He thought of what his mother might say. 'It's beautiful, Artie' She used to say from behind him, ruffling his hair as he smiled. He was younger then, maybe five. Then she would pick him up and swing him around, paint in her hair and on his little clothes. Arthur had to shake his head to clear the memories. He couldn't just start crying in the middle of his art room. He sighed and inspected the painting again, this time trying to be a little softer with himself. It was okay, could even be good. He painted the last few details and took a step back, putting his brush in the crook of his ear. He was bound to get paint in his hair, but he didn't care, after years of adjusting to it.  
The painting was decent, but it didn’t live up to Arthur’s high standards for himself. He knew he could do better. There was a soft green farmhouse that had a nice contrast to the snow covered ground. The sky was a soft grey hue, slightly lighter than the color of the grey-brown fence. The art professor came around to his easel, and lifted his brows in mild surprise.  
"Very good, Arthur. Did you use a new technique?" Professor Gaius asked.  
"Yes, I tried layering some of the colors instead of blending the paints on the palette. Gwen suggested it." He said, rubbing his neck sheepishly.  
"Good suggestion on her part. And I like the soft colors and strokes. Well done." Professor said. It was high praise from him, considering the professor never gives out compliments.  
"Okay, class dismissed. I'll see you all next week." Professor yelled, as people started packing up. Arthur left his painting to dry and packed his paints. He was often the last to leave because he was very careful with his art supplies. Every brush and color had a place in the container. After he was done, Arthur headed off to his family dinner. Even though he lived in a shared apartment with his friend Merlin, his father still insisted he have dinner with Uther and his sister Morgana every two weeks. Since it was Sunday and his only class was over, Arthur had no other commitments to use as an excuse to skip. The dinners made Arthur miss his mum even more. Uther's temper could no longer be put in check. His mum was amazing at calming him down, one word from her and Uther was back to normal. But since she died, his father in a rage was something that Morgana and Arthur had come to get used to, but hated all the same. At dinner, he always found something to get angry at. More often than not, it was about Arthur's failure as an artist and how he would never get a real job with an art degree. At least not one that pays the bills, according to Uther.  
Arthur sighed at the thoughts and ran his hand through his hair. He didn't bring his dress clothes for dinner, so he decided to just go in his jeans and collared shirt. He had paint in his hair and on his trousers, but he ignored it. Uther would certainly notice, and yell about it. Arthur didn't care anymore. Funny enough, Morgana had become somewhat of a mediator between he and his father. It was only surprising because she had been a more rebellious child than Arthur. As he got older, it was becoming the opposite. Arthur still sought to please his father, but he didn't care what he wore to dinners or how Uther despised Arthur coming out as gay a few months ago. Uther would never approve of Arthur's sexuality or his choice of career, so Arthur gave up on trying to make him. Maybe he'd come around on his own eventually.  
Arthur turned in to their regular restaurant, a larger and fancier place than most people could afford. He suddenly felt self conscious at his clothing, but he pushed the feeling down. He didn't have time to change now anyway. He pulled the door open and walked inside, eyes searching for his father and sister's familiar faces. He saw Morgana first, eyes slightly widening as she took in his outfit. The look was gone in an instant and she waved him over to the table. He took a seat across from Uther and next to Morgana. Uther regarded him cooly.  
"What are you wearing, Arthur?" Uther asked.  
"I'm sorry, Father. I didn't have time to change after my class." Arthur replied.  
"If you can even call that a class. It's more like fucking around in a stuffy room." Uther muttered. Arthur and Morgana both heard him, though.  
"Father, Arthur's trying to do something that makes him happy. Why can't you accept that he won't ever go to law school or a business university?" Morgana asked calmly. Arthur looked like he was going to blow up, but one wouldn't be able to tell unless they knew him. The tension in his jaw, and anger in his eyes. Morgana set her hand on his knee under the table, trying to settle his temper.  
"He needs to stop fooling around with these artist types. They're poisoning his mind with lies. The real world is survival of the fittest, Arthur needs to get a real job to support himself." Uther said, rolling his eyes in annoyance.  
"I'm going to get a real job once I finish university. Now if you'll excuse me, Merlin just texted to say there's an emergency at the flat." Arthur said, chair scraping as he hastily got up.  
"That fag boy is just encouraging your idle fantasies, too. You need to get a new roommate, one who has his life figured out." Uther said, waving his hand at Arthur's phone like his words meant nothing.  
"What did you just call him?" Arthur stopped halfway to the door. He whirled around.  
"I'm just telling you the truth. Someone has to, or you'll never make it in the world." Uther said. "Your mother certainly didn't help, she was always filling your head with false hopes." He sighed. Arthur looked at him with murder in his eyes, and was about to swing a punch when Morgana grabbed his arm.  
"Don't do something you'll regret." She said softly.  
"I wouldn't regret it." Arthur said, his voice cold. He shook his sister off of him and straightened his shirt. Arthur looked around the room, measuring the reaction. The people in the restaurant weren’t used to such a display. Naturally, everyone was looking at the three Pendragons. Arthur could see two waiters in the corner by the phone, eyeing the scene warily before speaking into the phone again. It appeared they had gathered the attention of the entire restaurant, including whatever authority was on that phone. Maybe the police.  
"I'm leaving. Don't get your hopes up about me coming to any more of these shit shows." Arthur spat at Uther. He opened the door and heard it hiss softly closed. He wished he could hear it slam.  
\--------------------------  
Arthur walked the streets until he calmed down. His father's words kept ringing through his head. ‘Your mother certainly didn't help. The fag boy is just encouraging your idle fantasies. Arthur needs to get a real job’.  
He sighed and ran his hands through his hair roughly. This was a shitstorm of giant proportions. He decided to run to his flat. Partly to blow off steam, and partly because he had forgotten about Merlin's text from earlier. He unlocked the front door and rushed inside.  
"Merlin?" He yelled. "Is everything okay?" Arthur was slightly worried. Merlin's text had sounded urgent. Merlin emerged from the hallway, looking sleepy. He was wearing his pajamas, his hair was mussed and his eyebrows were furrowed in confusion.  
"Yes, everything's fine." Merlin said, slurring the words slightly.  
"What was that text about, then?" Arthur asked.  
"Oh. I wanted you to come home because I know you can't be in the same room as Uther without almost having a heart attack. I wanted to give you an excuse to leave." Merlin said, waking up a little more as he spoke.  
"Jesus, Merlin!” Arthur yelled. “I thought you might be dying. I was walking around town but I remembered that you might be dead on the floor of our flat, so I ran home.” Arthur said, rubbing a hand over his face.  
"Hey, I'm fine." Merlin said quietly, walking closer and pulling Arthur's hands from his face. "How did the dinner go?" He asked, leading them to sit on the sofa. Arthur let out a strangled sort of sob-laugh. "That bad, huh?" Merlin asked lightly.  
"He talked about you. And my mum. He was horrible." Arthur said softly, looking at the carpet of the living room.  
"What did he say?" Merlin asked quietly. Arthur huffed.  
"He called you a fag, Merlin. He said you were 'filling my head with idle fantasies', whatever that means." Arthur said, making air quotes around what Uther had said.  
"Oh.." Merlin whispered. He turned away from Arthur slightly.  
"It was bad. He said that my mother encouraged my 'false hopes' of the world or something, like I didn't already know that the world chews people up and spits them out every day." Arthur sighed. "God, when he mentioned you and mum, I almost punched him."  
"Really?" Merlin asked, looking surprised.  
"Yeah... The way he was speaking, like he hated you and never loved my mum. He was being so cold." Arthur said, little tears starting to streak down his face.  
"Oh no, don't cry." Merlin said, wiping Arthur's tears away with his thumb. "He's just an arse. None of it means anything."  
"But it does to me. And he knows that. Sometimes I think he says things like this about you or my art because he knows that it'll get to me." Arthur said, huffing. Merlin didn't know what to do, so he just hugged Arthur to his chest. Soon after that, Merlin could hear Arthur sniffling into his shirt, crying again.  
"Shh, it's alright love." Merlin whispered in his ear. He hated to see Arthur so shaken up about his father. Knowing Uther since he and Arthur were kids, Merlin had determined that Arthur's father was awful. He couldn't imagine having to live with him all the time. It was no wonder to Merlin why Arthur had moved out at the age of eighteen and started sharing a flat with him. After two years, Merlin had gotten used to Uther's hatred. Merlin still wanted to kill him whenever he made Arthur doubt himself like this.  
Merlin just softly mumbled reassurances to a crying Arthur. He was settling down, not crying so much as just sniffling. Arthur sighed and picked his head up.  
"Thank you, Merlin." He whispered. He still looked a wreck. His eyes were red rimmed and puffy from crying. There was a look of utter defeat and sorrow in Arthur's eyes. It made Merlin's heart hurt. Arthur sighed again and wiped his face with a tissue from the table next to the sofa. "God, I'm a mess." He laughed dryly. "Why do you put up with me?" Because I love you and I never want you to be sad, Merlin almost said.  
"Because you put up with me and my charcoal pencil stains on everything in our flat. And my unnatural obsession with sleeping." Merlin laughed off his feelings, helping Arthur up from the sofa.  
"That's true, you are like a nocturnal creature." Arthur laughed more genuinely. Merlin stepped closer to Arthur and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Goodnight, Arthur." He said, giving him a soft smile. Then Merlin walked to his room and closed the door, leaving Arthur wide eyed. He touched his cheek with two fingers where Merlin had kissed him and smiled like an idiot before going to his room and falling asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin finally confesses, and FLUFF FLUFF AND MORE FLUFF happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading, this is definitely not my best work but i have fanfics on wattpad that i will link here! https://my.w.tt/io3UkAHpzP

Merlin walked to class the next day distracted. Arthur had taken a sick day because of the incident with his father. Merlin understood why he was still shaken up. Uther usually never mentioned Arthur's mother, especially in his presence. Arthur missed her a lot, Merlin could tell.   
Merlin was walking to his sketch class. He had a pack of charcoals and paper, and some inking pens. He loved sketching. Especially with charcoal pencils and pens. Merlin's professor was a bit over enthusiastic, but Merlin usually just ignored him and went along with his work. Professor Gwaine loved yelling about philosophy and the meaning of art and life. It annoyed Merlin to no end. As he walked into the room, he sought out he and Arthur's friend Gwen.   
"Ready for another life lesson today?" Gwen asked, quirking her eyebrow.  
"Ugh. God, no." Merlin said, rolling his eyes dramatically. He started setting up his station next to Gwen's. The assignment was a portrait in charcoals. Merlin already had a photo printed and an outline started. He had chosen Arthur as his portrait subject, hoping he could gift it to Arthur for his birthday in a few days. Gwen looked over at Merlin's sketch.  
"Ah, Arthur, yeah?" Gwen said, a smug grin on her face.  
"Oh shut it." Merlin said playfully. "It's a birthday gift."  
"Is that all?" Gwen asked.  
"You know the answer, Gwen." Merlin said, because she already knew about Merlin's pining. But Arthur was his flatmate, and nothing would ever happen between them.  
"You know, you could always tell him, Merlin." Gwen said. Her portrait was of her girlfriend, Morgana. Arthur's sister. Morgana kept it a secret from Uther, and Merlin definitely understood why.  
"I can't, Gwen. It would change everything, and he'd probably want me to move out." Merlin sighed. "I don't want to jeopardize our friendship like that." He said. He continued his portrait, and tried not to focus on how he barely even had to look at the photo, because he had memorized Arthur's face years ago. Merlin's crush developed in high school. They had been inseparable then, and nothing had really changed in the past two years after graduation. Except now, it was getting harder to hide Merlin's feelings. Hell, he'd almost admitted it the night before.  
"I don't think it would ruin your friendship, and he probably feels the same way." Gwen said. "Think about it, how long ago was it that he actually went on a date?" Gwen asked.  
"Probably many months ago, but that doesn't mean he feels the same way I do. He might just like not having a commitment." Merlin said.  
"Merlin, I didn't peg you as thick. You can't tell me you haven't seen signs." Gwen said, exasperated with Merlin's pessimism.   
"What signs?" Merlin asked.  
"Oh come on. He looks at you like you're the Queen. He practically worships the ground you walk on. And I'm not supposed to tell you this, but I think I have to. You're getting dreadfully sad." Gwen paused, probably contemplating telling Merlin. "Arthur's told me things. About his feelings for you. And that's all I'm saying, but just talk to him." Gwen encouraged. Merlin was left speechless. Arthur had talked to Gwen about him? The rest of class went on in silence, save for Professor Gwaine's rambling.  
Merlin went through his next classes distracted. He couldn't stop thinking about Arthur. What had he told Gwen? He couldn't possibly love Merlin, right? Merlin had given up hope so long ago that he had a hard time imagining Arthur pining over him, of all people.  
By the time he got home, Merlin had decided to talk to Arthur. He opened the door and set his keys on the table.  
"Arthur?" Merlin called out. Arthur opened his bedroom door a couple minutes later and walked out into the kitchen. He smiled at Merlin.  
"How did classes go?" Arthur asked.  
"Fine, can we talk for a bit?" Merlin asked. He was getting nervous again. He wrung his hands.  
"Yeah, what about?" Arthur asked, brows knitted in confusion.  
"Just, could we sit?" Merlin asked. They sat on the couch that Arthur had cried on the night before. "Listen, I don't want to freak you out, but I don't think   
I can hide it any longer." Merlin ran his hand through his hair. "Arthur, I love you." He paused. "I've loved you since junior year. I know this might shock you. If you want me to move out, I'll do it." Merlin sighed again. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable."  
Arthur's eyes were wide. He felt like he couldn't breathe for a few seconds. Then he came to his senses. "You're telling me that you're in love with me?" Arthur asked slowly, trying to understand what just happened.  
"Yes." Merlin's reply came out as a whisper.  
"Merlin, you'd have to be an idiot to think I would want you to move out." Arthur said.  
"What? Why is that idiotic? It's a valid reason to kick someone out." Merlin said, confused.  
"It's idiotic," Arthur started. "Because I love you, too." He finished softly. He gave Merlin a small smile.  
"What? Are you serious?" Merlin asked. Arthur leaned in and ran his thumb over Merlin's cheekbone. He saw Merlin's eyes widen a little. Arthur leaned in further and whispered against Merlin's lips.  
"Does it look like I'm kidding?"  
"No." Merlin whispered back. Then, he leaned in further to kiss Arthur's lips. It started out sweet, and then turned a little bit desperate. Arthur felt Merlin push him into the sofa. Merlin broke the kiss to let out a giggle. Arthur smiled.  
"Are you laughing in the middle of us snogging?" He asked.  
"Maaaaybe." Merlin laughed again. "I just never imagined that the conversation would end like this." Arthur kissed him again, but pulled away a few seconds later.  
"Well you should get used to this. Because I'm never letting you go again." Arthur said.  
"What about classes, hmm?" Merlin asked, grinning.  
"We can just skip forever and stay here all week long." Arthur said happily.  
"Mhm, sure." Merlin said and kissed Arthur again. They stayed like that for a while, just enjoying each other's company and their new relationship.  
\---------------------------------  
They lay on their sides, facing each other. They were almost asleep, but instead of sleeping apart, they were both laying in Arthur's queen sized bed. Arthur kept playing with Merlin's fingers, kissing them every few minutes.  
"So, since high school, yeah?" Arthur asked smugly. Merlin punched his arm with his free hand.  
"Don't look so cocky. It sucked." Merlin said.  
"Why?" Arthur asked, concerned.  
"Because I never thought you would love me back?" Merlin said it like he'd truly believed it. Arthur furrowed his brows slightly at the hopelessness in Merlin's tone.  
"Come on, you never considered it?" Arthur asked skeptically.  
"Why would I? I didn't even know you liked men! I never thought I stood a chance!" Merlin exclaimed.  
"Well I never thought I liked men until I realized I liked you." Arthur said.  
"And when was that?" Merlin asked.  
"Around last year. Trust me, I've done my fair share of pining." Arthur smiled, but it had a tinge of sadness to it that Merlin didn't like. Merlin leaned in and kissed the sadness off of Arthur's face.  
"Why didn't you tell me?" Merlin asked after they broke the kiss, trying not to sound hurt.  
"I told my father that I'm gay, and he didn't take it well." Arthur revealed. "I guess I didn't want another rejection. Hurts too much." He shrugged.  
"I wouldn't ever reject you, Arthur." Merlin said, kissing his cheek. Arthur grinned and ran his hand through Merlin's curls.   
"God, I love you so much." He whispered.  
"What was that?" Merlin asked. He had heard, but he wanted to hear Arthur say it again.  
"I said, 'I'm going to shove you so much'. Obviously." Arthur said, ducking his head.  
"No, you can't lie to me, Arthur Pendragon. You were being mushy!" Merlin laughed. "I love you too, you big softie." He said, still smiling. Merlin curled himself into Arthur's side, his head on Arthur's chest. Arthur hummed in happiness.   
"Goodnight, love." He whispered into the dark. Merlin was already asleep.


End file.
